As we chatted, I realized I was complaining again.
No, that couldn’t be.
I must have been reasonably discussing.
We continued.
But the twinge. “Really?”
We continued, but I slowed down my fervor.
(That means I stopped waving my hands. I’m Sicilian by heritage.)
Except the Holy Spirit had alerted me. I was complaining again.
I apologized
My friend laughed.
I made another statement, then threw in the towel.
“Let’s talk about something else.”
One way to reverse complaining again and again.
Look at these synonyms for complaining!
- protesting
- grumbling
- griping
- kvetching
- whining
- fussing
- squawking
- unforgiving
- uncompromising
- impatient
- intolerant
- unyielding
Do any of those words sound like “reasonably discussing?”
Bible Gateway added to the fire, noting 54 results in the NKJV concordance for the word “complain.”
Not surprisingly, the book of Numbers listed the most times complaining again that occurred.
A Grumble Free, complaining-free, life?
My friend, writer Tricia Goyer wrote a book several years ago about stopping complaining, again, in the family.
Her book, The Grumble Free Year, describes how her family worked to stop the griping!
(You can watch her in Focus Family discussion, “The Year My Family (Sort Of) Didn’t Complain “ in November 2019.)
In the case of the Goyer family, they focused on gratitude–finding ways to be thankful.
It’s Scriptural.
“In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18; NKJV)
Tricia turned her parental guide into a children’s picture book with another friend, Amy Parker.
Starting the children out right, giving thanks and not complaining again, can help.
Except I’m an adult. How do I change?
My friend and I are both “retired” Navy wives. We hadn’t told all our stories to each other, so we binged!
It was wonderful.
We laughed and laughed.
She well knew my signature line (which even my civilian friends know!): “He was out to sea, of course.”
It felt good to get rid of that pain with a friend who can commiserate.
But sometimes we commiserated too long.
I started feeling guilty. Was I complaining again?
I told her husband, “I loved many things about being a Navy wife. In fact, I’m going to write a list.”
He laughed.
When I got home, I mailed him a list of 60 things I loved about being a Navy wife.
My goodness. What was I complaining about?
My husband loved reading the list, too.
How to stop?
- Cultivate a thankful heart.
- The Bible’s New King James Version has 109 verses about thanks. Practice those.
- Ask the Holy Spirit to call you on complaining, grumbling, or choosing not to be thankful.
- If you are tempted while talking with a particular friend, make a pact not to grumble.
- Ask friends and family to hold you accountable.
- Listen to what you’re saying and catch yourself.
- Be encouraged that complaining again is not the unforgivable sin. But, it can become a habit.
- Never forget there is no sin that Jesus will not forgive.
- Be thankful for that!
Tweetables
Suggestions for how to stop complaining again! Click to Tweet
How to choose the opposite of grumbling when commenting. Click to Tweet
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