Last year, we had a Christmas without kids.
The first one since year two of our marriage.
How did that happen?
It began simply enough. With three married sons, we made a deal long ago.
We’d swap the two major holidays with the in-laws.
One year, we have all our kids and grandchildren for Christmas, but not for Thanksgiving.
The following year, the kids and grandchildren go to their house for Christmas. We have them with us for Thanksgiving.
It’s only fair.
And it’s worked great ever since.
We love our in-laws.
Last year turned into a Christmas without any kids–the first one
Up until last year, half of our children were single, so we always had two children around.
The one unmarried, not engaged child traveled a lot for work.
That child wanted to stay home and not travel. A sibling extended an invitation to join his in-laws at their house. We could come, too.
But the in-laws lost a parent that year. My husband and I didn’t feel comfortable attending without our counterparts.
What to do?
Ha! The Sicilian family members invite us every year. I received an invitation to conduct a special interview. My interviewee lived ten miles from my brothers.
My mom’s side of the family gathers every year (and we’re always too busy to go). Why not visit all our relatives in Southern California?
And bonus, drive home via my husband’s sister in Central California?
Why not?
What’s a 1000-mile drive without kids?
A lot easier when there’s only two of us!
Of course, everywhere we went, our surprised relatives asked the same question. “Where are your kids?”
“Off with their in-laws this year. So, we’re grateful we have more family who welcome us!”
We’re fortunate our extended family is large. Two more didn’t affect anyone’s food count.
I helped cook several dishes for Christmas Eve and assisted with cleanup.
(Christmas Eve, after the church service, featured 25 people. Christmas Day, 90 miles away, involved 25+ different people! Boxing Day, 150 miles back in the direction of home, was only seven at a restaurant.)
Driving 400 miles home on December 26 gave my husband and me time to savor and appreciate three full days.
And neither one of us asked if we were “there yet.” 🙂
A Christmas without kids for me=deep conversations
Without the responsibility of children or grandchildren, we had long conversations with people we hadn’t seen in many years.
And the stories? Splendid.
Sitting in my uncle’s living room, I realized my uncle and four cousins had known me since my birth.
Here were the people who had seen me grow up. Here were the family stories.
Of course, they asked me, the family genealogist, to confirm facts.
(My uncle was 95!)
We ate much the same Christmas dinner I ate as a child.
(I brought a booklet of the family’s old Christmas photo collection as my contribution. Everyone wanted the pictures! I emailed them a copy of the booklet after I got home.)
Is it really Christmas if you don’t have your children with you?
Of course it is. Jesus is the reason for the season.
Without mine, though, focused on nieces and nephews and great-nieces and great-nephews.
We had long conversations with the adults before and after the gatherings.
Not needing to decorate the home the same way, nor cook traditional meals, one year wasn’t a problem.
Besides, our kids all awaited our return, and we celebrated on New Year’s Eve instead!
Merry Christmas to you–whether you have an at-home family or not.
Thoughts? Reactions? Lurker?