I recently read Now Departing by Victor M. Sweeney, a book by a mortician about death.
Sitting on the new books shelf at the library, the clever title drew me. When I saw the topic, I knew I needed to read this book.
Wouldn’t you be curious about the thoughts of “a small-town mortician on death, life, and the moments in between?”
For me, this book is so wise and insightful that I couldn’t put it down.
My personal draw to Now Departing.
I lost ten close relatives in ten miserable years starting 34 years ago.
My mom, my dad, my father-in-law, my three remaining grandparents, great-aunts, and so forth.
We moved three times, careers ended, jobs were lost, children grew up and left home.
All were endings and major changes in life, death, while family members died.
As a result, I’ve written many blogs about death.
You can start reading them here.
If my personal experience wasn’t enough, all eleven books I’ve published have included deaths.
Now departing?
Sometimes it has felt like everything was departing.
And yes, I have had a lot of inner healing prayer for all these deaths!
Concerned about the afterlife or the death process?
I’ve been a Christian for 54 years. I’m not worried about what happens after I die.
But, like most of us, I pray I do not have a long, lingering death.
What I want my family to do with my body is another matter.
Intellectually, I understand the ecological and financial draw of cremation.
Emotionally, however, I’m uneasy
Make your own personal call, no judgment will from me.
After visiting Auschwitz and Dachau, I’m convinced I don’t want to be cremated.
Sweeney’s book (he also has a YouTube channel) walked me through death from a mortician’s work.
He’s a wise 37-year-old man, with a servant’s heart and a devout Catholic’s insight.
I felt so reassured. (And wondered if I needed to move to his small town in Minnesota!)
What made Now Departing so encouraging?
The book consists of short chapters using stories to describe different aspects of his trade.
(He tells stories of the experiences he’s had in his small community.)
But look how thoughtful he is in the author’s note:
“We must remember our dead and get to know the living. The stories in this book include the deaths and lives of the many I’ve met in my line of work. . . .
My townspeople have trusted me to use their real names and tell their stories alongside my own.
The act of remembering is a gift . . . and one I’m honored to share.
Now Departing Author’s Note
In the chapters, Sweeney described how he performs his “craft” (my word) and the care he uses with each body.
His YouTube channel answers specific questions about death and his trade. I haven’t watched it. Sweeney’s words were enough for me.
Who will write your obituary?
While the mortician or the mortuary staff, or even AI, can write your obituary, Sweeney has other thoughts.
“I am among those who have a strong desire to consider and share our own obituary, our life summarized. . . . This is something I do regularly, updating my obituary each August.” (Now Departing page 168)
As he’s rewritten it each year, he’s realized the things he’s done were not as important as those he loves. “My beliefs, marriage, children, work, and interests take precedence–hopefully in that order.”
I like this idea. Why not put in writing what’s been important in my life to me?
In my case, it always goes back to my family, my faith, and my spiritual future.
Our former pastor, surveying a congregation with older members, held a workshop every few years.
He invited anyone interested to make the funeral arrangements, which he kept on file.
He used that time to encourage them to make their peace with loved ones. We all need to make sure our souls are right with God.
Because you never know when death will come.
Do you really want to leave your loved ones guessing?
It’s probably time I make plans and leave them with my family.
How about you?
Thoughts? Reactions? Lurker?